Quotes by Tyrion Lannister (a fictional character from 'A Song Of Ice And Fire')

                 

 A novel by George R.R. Martin  

• All dwarfs are bastards in their father's eyes.
• I was born. I lived. I am guilty of being a dwarf, I confess it. And no matter how many times my good father forgave me, I have persisted in my infamy.
• I have been called many things, but giant is seldom one of them.
• Pissing is the least of my talents. You ought to see me shit.
• I am malformed, scarred, and small, but...abed, when the candles are blown out, I am made no worse than other men. In the dark, I am the Knight of Flowers.
• Dwarfs are a jape of the gods, but men make eunuchs.
• I have a tender spot in my heart for cripples and bastards and broken things.
• The gods must have been drunk when they got to me.
• My mind is my weapon. My brother has his sword, King Robert has his warhammer, and I have my mind...and a mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone if it is to keep its edge.
• When you tear out a man's tongue, you are not proving him a liar, you're only telling the world that you fear what he might say.
• Sleep is good. And books are better.
• Guard your tongue before it digs your grave.
• A man grows weary of having no lovers but his fingers.
• A Lannister always pays his debts.
• My sister has mistaken me for a mushroom. She keeps me in the dark and feeds me shit.
• The man who kills his own blood is cursed forever in the sight of gods and men.
• I have never liked you, Cersei, but you were my own sister, so I never did you harm. You've ended that. I'll hurt you for this. I don't know how yet, but give me time. A day will come when you think you are safe and happy, and suddenly your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth, and you'll know the debt is paid.
• The gods are blind. And men see only what they wish.
• Why is it that when one man builds a wall, the next man immediately needs to know what's on the other side?
• I think life is a jape. Your's, mine, everyone's.
• There has never been a slave who did not choose to be a slave. Their choice may be between bondage and death, but the choice is always there.
• Death is so terribly final but life is full of possibilities.
• Never forget who you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armor yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.
• I have killed mothers, fathers, nephews, lovers, men and women, kings and whores. A singer once annoyed me, so I had the bastard stewed.
• I've heard the food in hell is wretched.
• All sorts of people are calling themselves kings these days.
• My nephew is not fit to sit a privy, let alone the Iron Throne.
• Crowns do queer things to the heads beneath them.
• Schemes are like fruit, they require a certain ripening.
• Gold has its uses, but wars are won with iron.
• I sit a chair better than a horse, and I'd sooner hold a wine goblet than a battle-axe. All that about the thunder of the drums, sunlight flashing on armor, magnificent destriers snorting and prancing? Well, the drums gave me headaches, the sunlight flashing on my armor cooked me up like a harvest day goose, and those magnificent destriers shit everywhere.
• A sword through the bowels. A sure cure for constipation.
• Men fight more fiercely for a king who shares their peril than one who hides behind his mother's skirts.
• Courage and folly are cousins, or so I've heard.
• If I could pray with my cock, I would be much more religious.
• Give me sweet lies, and keep your bitter truths.
• My father threw me down a well the day I was born, but I was so ugly that the water witch who lived down there spat me back.
• I believe in steel swords, gold coins, and men's wits. And I believe there once were dragons.
• What sort of gods make rats and plagues and dwarfs?
• When I was a boy, my wet nurse told me that one day, if men are good, the gods would give the world a summer without ending.
• If their are gods to listen, they are monstrous gods, who torment us for their sport. Who else would make a world like this, so full of bondage, blood, and pain?
• I'm terrified of my enemies, so I kill them all.